As most of you know, I am in a relationship with one of the most amazing guys in the world. We’ve been courting since August of 2012, so it’s been almost a year. We started this courting process with the intent of figuring out if the Lord wanted us to get married in the end. After a whole bunch of confirmation from the Lord, we discovered that yes, the Lord has His hand all over this relationship and yes He is leading us towards the path of marriage. Now, the tricky part is I have a past. I know we all have pasts, but mine was quite traumatic and the Lord has had to heal me of A LOT of lies and deception that I had come to believe and cling to. That being said, the leadership that Tim and I are going to have said that it would be good for us to wait and make sure we are as prepared as possible and have a solid foundation upon which to build a marriage and life on top of.
Waiting is HARD! For a long time I was confused and fighting bitterness in my heart because I thought it quite unfair that we should wait when we know the Lord is calling us to get married. What did books have to do with the Lord working in our lives? Though time has given us a lot of time to talk about subjects we may never have covered had we been engaged and married sooner rather than later. The Lord has grown us so much in areas that are rather important in a marriage. Areas such as submission to authority, leadership, willingness to listen and accept correction, etc.
I don’t really think Tim and I have ever really hit the “Star-struck lovey-dovey feelings” towards each other stage. Yeah it comes up every once in a while, but I believe for the most part we have had pretty level heads for a couple. Which probably helped with the fact that we were best friends for about two and a half YEARS before getting the go ahead to start a relationship. So we were able to dive into tougher subjects when we started courting instead of starting at square one with questions like “So, what’s your favorite color? (insert batting of the eyes here)” We started with questions like “So, what are some of the things you have struggled with and are struggling with in your life, and how is the Lord helping you with that?”
Yesterday and today there was a speaker, Pastor Chuck, who came and spoke to the young single staff at Gospel for Asia about relationships and singleness and the Lord. I think it was rather long overdue for the singles here on staff to hear the things he talked about, and I rather liked hearing that Tim and I are on the right track and aren’t WAAAAYY off the mark in our relationship. But the main thing that these seminars held for me, was they gave me an “aha! moment”. I’ve heard it before, but for some reason, this pastor talking about it finally made it click. The outcome?
I’M OKAY WITH WAITING.
If waiting means that Tim and I will be on the solid foundation of Jesus Christ before even starting our marriage, then when we are married, the Lord can use our relationship with each other as a reflection to others of His love and provision. Through the healing He is doing and will continue to do in our lives, the Lord can use us to reach out to others who may be in similar situations we were in earlier in our lives.
To be used by God in such an intimate way to minister to His body… I can’t wait. I can’t wait to be used like that by my Lord, but before I can be used like that, I have to wait on the Lord and wait on the leadership that He has placed over me. And I am FINALLY content with that.
Source: Am I Content to Wait?
