“We know love by this, that He laid own His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the bretheren” – 1 John 3:16
Through the waiting process that Tim and I have found ourselves in, I have been praying for the Lord to grow me into the woman He created me to be so that I will be able to serve and be the “helpmate” that Tim will need one day in a wife. But what did that “woman” even look like? I was beginning to believe that I would never be able to attain that goal.
I’ve been hearing over and over again that I have a “strong personality” and the way it was brought up in conversation made it seem like that was a bad thing. Coming from my background, my family is full of “strong personalities” and I love each and every one of those personalities, though family gatherings can get to be a little loud at times, but usually full of laughter and understanding compromises in conversation. Compared to them, that was one quality that I never would have thought I possessed. In fact, before attending Gospel for Asia’s School of Discipleship, I’d say I was rather reserved and quiet, quite possibly due to my “voice” being damaged by my past abuse.
Through my year at Gospel for Asia, as I pressed into the Lord, my voice was restored and I suddenly was able to voice my opinions. God was renewing my Spirit, healing me from my past afflictions and redeeming my view of His sovereignty. I was happy, people were finally listening to me and asking my view on things. I could confidently bring my thoughts to the table instead of hide behind the protective wall I had built around me. I had developed a strong personality.
This past month I went before the Lord wondering why people were so concerned about my personality. How could that effect my relationship with Tim? That’s who God programed me to be, so why change it? For weeks I was praying, reading His Word searching for answers. Did people really want me to change who I was to fit into their idea of who I should be? Though I’m still learning what this all means, and I am FAR from attaining the goal, I thought I would share with you what I’ve discovered.
I’ve been reading this book called Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior By Kimberly Wagner and I have learned SO MUCH about what God has designed womanhood to mean. I’ve learned that a “strong personality” or rather, “Fierce Woman” is not a bad thing, but far from it. It can be a very good thing, but when used in the wrong way can be very destructive to the men in my life, not just my future husband.
I won’t go into everything she writes, and I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy for yourself (even if you don’t think you have a “strong personality”) but I will share something that stood out to me as I was reading today about the “Life-Giving Trio”, humility, grace and love.
Here’s a quote from the book:
“Love is painful. Love is vulnerable. Love plunges into relationship knowing it will encounter pain and rejection. Love I what compelled God to create, even while knowing man would rebel, knowing separation would occur, knowing the fall would require redemption in order for reconciliation to take place. True love requires personal sacrifice and sometime, even death.” (page 113)
Love. I thought God had already taught me as much as I could possibly learn about what it means to love. But when you really get down to it, love isn’t just serving someone when you see a need, possibly getting a “thanks” from it. No, love stems from the grace of God as a response to humility which is a response of the TRUE view of God. Love is choosing to lay down your desires, your passions, your opinions, your personal needs to serve someone else without expecting anything in return. It means asking the Lord to fill you so completely with His Spirit that it overflows to those around you, despite your fleshly desires. Considering it a joy to give of yourself, even if you feel there’s nothing left to give.
Yes you take care of yourself, but the way I see it, God can take care of you while you pour out His love to others. God knows our hearts, He knows our desires, He knows our needs more than we do. He put them there! A “Fierce Woman” is someone who is clinging onto God with everything she’s got, allowing the men in her life to be who God designed them to be and letting God be God. Encouraging men to keep pursuing God, making decisions, leading and being the head of the home as Christ is the head of the Church.
There are a lot more qualities of this “Fierce Woman/soft warrior” that I could talk about, but I just wanted to talk about love for a bit there. Maybe I’ll write again later. I’m still learning, and will probably be learning for the rest of my life, but from now on I will listen to God’s Truth about womanhood instead of the world’s lies.
Thanks for reading!
Source: Qualities of a True Woman: Love
