A Conflicted Fathers Day

What is love? Well, according to 1 Corinthians 13

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

One of the things I love most about God is that the Bible says

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” – 1 John 4:7-8

Without Him, there is no love. It is through Him that we as believers are able to love the way it states in 1 Corinthians. In my own power it is easy to “love” people who I get along with day to day, when I feel like it and when it is convenient to me. But deep down, that kind of love is a selfish love. Notice how it is dependent upon whether or not I feel like it. But God’s love is neverending; it is unfailing. He loved me WHILE I WAS STILL A SINNER! (Romans 5:8)

“In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” – 1 John 4:9-10

Through me, God is able to love others if I will lay down my selfish pride and allow Him to use me in that way. Which is why forgiveness is so important.

See, because Jesus was sinless, He was able to take on all the sins of the world (a crushing and agonizing weight) so that we sinful beings may one day stand in the Glory of God as heirs to the Kingdom of light. There is no sin greater than the others, it is all sin in the eyes of the Lord. All we need to do is repent of our sin and ask for His forgiveness, and He freely gives it because He paid in full at Calvary. It’s that simple!

How can I accept this forgiveness for my own sins and not pass it onto others? This reminds me of the parable Jesus shares in Matthew 18:21-35.

“Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’
Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay for the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.'”

This is what brings us to the real reason for this blog post. See, Fathers Day is this Sunday, June 16th. A day to honor our dads and encourage them as they continue to lead our households as Christ leads the Church. But I have two earthly dads…

One is my biological father. I met him when I was 18 years old when he found me on Facebook. And I am so blessed that the Lord brought him back into my life, and I do love him and the rest of that side of my family. I also look forward to growing that relationship with him.

Second is my Daddy. He is the one who raised me as his own daughter since before I can remember. He adopted me under his name when I was 5 years old. He comforted me when I was sad, taught me how to drive, tickled me, and watched Spongebob Squarepants with me and my brother. But my Dad sinned, as we all do, however this sin put him in jail… where he currently is. Yes this was a big sin, especially in the world’s eyes, but God loves him and will or has already forgiven him.

I believe in a God who forgives sins as far as the east is from the west. Who keeps no records of wrongs. Yes, Dad sinned, but God can heal and forgive. Nothing is impossible with Him.

I am not saying that once he is out of jail that everything will go back to how it was… No, that’s redicilous and frankly it would be very unwise for me to do. And if anyone knows how bad his sin was, it would be me, because I had to endure it for 9 years of my life, though it hurt many whom I love. But that doesnt change the fact that he is my dad and I love him. I believe God will restore him and will heal him because I have been praying for that. And God answers prayers.

So this Fathers Day I find myself conflicted. As Im sure you can now imagine why. I would love to celebrate this Father’s Day without feeling like a horrible person for even thinking about my dad. He’s my dad, and he’s the one the Lord gave to me. I’d love to tell him that every time I hear the song “Good Night My Angel” by Billy Joel, or “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle I think of him and all the good memories I have of him. Because the bad do not out way the good. I’ve been told my whole life to think positively and to remember good things even if bad things happen.

So happy Father’s Day Daddy, and happy Father’s Day Danny (my biological Dad). I love you both.


Source: A Conflicted Fathers Day